Strengthen what you share

Let your similarities connect you

Nurture your similarities

Similarities connect us

Every day, jot down a few things you have in common with your partner, and talk about them with each other. This process helps foster connection and empathy between you and highlights the universal experiences you share, rather than the differences between you, which can create resentment and disconnect. Of course, your differences will still exist, but a simple daily ritual like this is a powerful way to nurture your relationship and the bond you share. Also, if you want to include your children in this ritual, that’s fine. They’ll enjoy hearing about all the things you have in common and the positive, heart-feelings between you.


  • Make this a daily ritual. Ideally you need to do it at a time of day that occurs repeatedly, such as over the dinner table.
  • Anything you have in common is worth mentioning – from ‘raising the same child’, to ‘liking gerberas’. There is room here for laughs and light-heartedness as well as heart-felt sincerity.
  • Doesn’t necessarily need to be a couple ritual. Kids will enjoy sitting in on the ‘parents session’.
  • Always keep it respectful. It’s about building bridges and taking a big-picture approach

strengthen commonalities

Find the things that brought you together in the first place. What did you like about your partner? What attracted you to them? Write those down. Remember and focus on them.

table talk – parents sticking together

With children it’s important that parents stick together and present a united front.

table talk – being intensionally vulnerable

Sometimes when the barriers go up, stopping and being intentionally vulnerable and looking hard for those commonalities can help draw you back together.

table talk – just one word

Changing just one word in a conversation can give people room to open up and connect with you.

table talk – pushing through

It can be very easy to push issues aside and not deal with them. Sometimes you need to push though with finding what’s important for your partner.

table talk – intense focus

Sometimes we are so focused in what we are doing, we need to stop and listen to where they are at to find that commonality.

table talk – celebrate the chemistry

Positive support for what’s important for the other person creates magic in a relationship.

table talk – bringing kids in to sharing our partner’s passion

As a family bring everyone together to support what each other likes. Enjoy and share in their pleasure for the activities.

table talk – simple commonalities

What you have in common can be as simple as the coffee you drink. It’s remembering the things you share that’s important.